Depressed for Happiness

Ever have those days where you just agree with the writer of Ecclesiastes? That everything is striving after the wind...all is vain...I know I do. Often I wonder about the point of what I do, what is it that really matters. Now I know what is written in the Bible, and I know what I am supposed to believe (and really I think I do believe it), but there are times when it all just seems hollow. I don't really know why, or how, or what we can do about these times. I know they get me down, because I just can't grasp what is really going on...and can't understand why God wouldn't let me understand what is the point of my life.

However, there is a reason for it. Not one that comforts, especially when you are down--when I am down. But still, it is there. God is using all aspects of this life to refine us, test us, help us grow to Him. To just show us that we can't earn our way into heaven, but that we have to accept our salvation has already been purchased. Man, this is a difficult concept for me to grasp--because I know I do so many stupid things, and such a loser. But not only that, how do we just accept something, and not try to work for it? But maybe that's the key--we have been given the gift, so we go out and work for it--not to save us, but because we are saved.

I don't know, I'm down a little, just trying to comprehend God, and realize Him as being there every moment, every day for me...and not just a grand concept of a Creator.