Honest question...

OK...so here is a question I am wrestling with...and for some reason it just doesn't seem like I can cross the threshold that I want, to grow closer to God.

How do I Stand Firm in the truth. I mean day to day, honest, real standing firm. It seems like I do so great for awhile, reading, praying, staying connected to God--but then there are the moments when it seems like I never put up a resistance. I know I have more success than failure, but the failure is still there at times. It may not even be the same things, and it isn't like I am saying that I am falling from God--but more just trying to get through this life, growing closer. And right now I feel that somehow this is one of the areas that I am keeping God at arm's length. Really and truly stand in Him--love him with all my STENGTH! Every breath, every muscle, every action...

Too idealistic? Maybe, but I think it is where God wants us, wants me.