Deftly unconscious

It's been one of those days. You know, where everything you do, even when you do go out and have fun, just isn't sitting right. So when finally you sit down by yourself in the late afternoon, you just don't know why but you aren't in the right mood. Something has tugged at you, pulled you away from really enjoying the day. And you can't quite explain it. Of course, these days are the days that also seem to lead to being attacked by temptation more often...but these attacks come after the moodiness or inattention or whatever. I know I often find myself unable to explain why my flesh is so weak, why my mind can't stay focused. Even now, today, at this moment, something is just gnawing back there...something that has to get right. So why can't this get resolved, and just live in the Joy and Peace and Hope that God has told us He gives. Honestly, I don't know at times...God definitely knows my inner workings much better than I do. And yet I know I cannot give up or give in to whatever these doubtful or dark or numbing or whatever thoughts and feelings. God is still there, and never changes--it is a change in me that is needed. Sometimes I think we just wish we could get smacked upside the head and told hey--get your thoughts and life back on ME! But God doesn't always look at it that way, and He is greater than we are, with more wisdom and knowledge than any of us could hope to comprehend. And so we must endure, patiently, turning everything back to Him...even if we feel like something is just out of place, like a puzzle piece that doesn't fit, but you want it to.